I want Kids: The support and love of a husband

The first time I was told of my fibroid, I was told that my options were to have a child or surgery. I mentioned in an earlier post the circumstances surrounded that. Of course I wanted children, I believe most ladies do especially those with husbands. However, kids really was not in the equation for me at the time and I didn't know when it would be. Even after i got married I was unsure as to what to do although I tell myself I am going to start right away. I have been hearing all my years in church that it is good to at least have 2 good years with your husband, just enjoying each other. I was also reminded of that by a doctor when I returned to Jamaica and after I was married. She expressed to me the responsibility of a child and how it can ruin your marriage. I knew I at least wanted one child in my life at some point, while my husband number was a bit higher :) But then you are in a position where even though you might not be financially or mentally ready your issues are some what forcing you to, it becomes a very difficult decision. When you are in a position where you can start trying now but you are not succeeding or you are in a position like me that if you try and get pregnant, you chances of miscarriage is close to a 100%, it is even worse. According to my last doctor when he saw the size of my fibroid, which doctor could have asked you to try with a fibroid of that size? Yet many others express to me how they deliver babies with mothers who had fibroid the same size or bigger...the baby just went on the other side, put the cake in the oven and see how it bake etc etc CONFUSION!!! That is how our minds are sometime and there is where our husbands come in.

I pray and trust here that when you got married it was for the right reasons and it was with the right person. The support of your husband and loved ones, but mainly your spouse is of utmost importance in this situation. I can personally talk about my situation before and after the surgery. I needed him to feel what I feel emotionally and understand me. I needed him to direct me in the decision about surgery. I needed him to assure me that when we are ready for kids, we would have them. I needed him to be stronger than me. Even after the surgery, my husband was there to meet my physical and emotional needs. Getting up was a problem, lying down a problem, lifting things, bathing., walking, cooking...I can write a list of things that you are going to find much harder to do or your are going to be asked to desist from doing after your surgery. If you are not close to your parents and other family members like me, your husband becomes your EVERYTHING.

Many times during my ordeal I was ask how your husband feel? Or statements were made...boy fibroid can prevent you from getting pregnant. Have you ever hear those things, which can make you cry if you are not strong enough because NO ONE seems to understand what you are going through. As innocent as these statements may be, it deposits different negative things in your mind. You might find yourself frustrating your husband with little things you say. Again, the relationship with your spouse is extremely important. If you are a praying woman, you need a husband who understands the reasons behind your prayers and would join you. My husband is all that and more. I can COMMUNICATE with him about EVERYTHING and I hide NOTHING. I believe that is a principle we all should utilize. Don't carry this burden alone. Don't keep what you are feeling away from him. Question him about his feelings and thoughts. TALK TO EACH OTHER!!! The outside world can never give you the love and support that your husband can. If you do not do these things, you will get frustrated when he looks another couple with their kids or you may take a simple friendship with his lady friend to mean something more than it is because you are now putting yourself in a vacuum where you are the unattractive, non reproductive/unfruitful, fill with sickness woman that you have established in your minds. While dealing with your issues, live your life, but most of all enjoy it. It helps to reduce the STRESS that is detrimental to our health and only help to intensify our situations.

Accept the help and love of your husbands. Cherish him, thank him and praise him. Don't do it in your minds or with gifts but rather with words. Don't ever start looking at your age and giving up. Look at Sarah in the bible...90 and was pregnant with her first child. The doctors would say what their scientific knowledge give to them, people would say what they feel and think and then GOD will remind you of what he says. Be optimistic and refrain from negative thinking and listening to negative sources. I delight myself in the will of the Lord knowing that I am going to get my children when I am ready. Ill be sure to do a post telling all my followers about it and you will rejoice with me. Are you going to have your children when you are ready?