Thursday 24 May 2012

Denying your needs: Is it healthy?

Last weekend, I was at the market. My husband and I went into a wholesale to get some grocery and while I was seated there, while my husband waited to collect the grocery, a little 4 year old boy sat beside me. He said "hi, do you like tomatoes," as he lifted the 3 tomatoes to show me. I was rather impressed with this little boy's bravery and even asked where his mom was. He show me her standing in line to get her groceries. From that introduction, the young child continued his conversation. He wanted to know if I like tomatoes, he wanted me to count his tomatoes and so on. I began to question him about his like for tomatoes, to which he responded no but his mom normally give them to his dad. I asked him his name and about the school he is attending. He was currently in preschool but told me he gets bigger he is going to primary school and so i mentioned then you will get bigger and you will go high school, then to university. This is what melted my heart in the conversation.... He looked at me and said that WHEN HE IS BIG HE CAN BE ANYTHING HE WANTED TO BE, EVEN A DOCTOR AND THEY WILL CALL HIM DR. JACOBS. I smiled, he had indeed made my day and he increased my desire for kids, so brave, so bold and so intelligent. Even more so, it re-emphasized to me that kids need positive parents with positive words.

It then came to me to write this blog, about denying our needs and I asked is it healthy? There are many persons who after years of trying for kids, said they no longer wanted, some even go as far as said they never wanted. When I spoke to that child that day, it was not about whether or not I was ready for kids,  but I knew that one day I would love to have kids. Maybe you might have over the years find fulfillment in other things so that your desire for kids, no longer exist, but if you still feel an emptiness in your life and every time you speak to a child or see children, this emptiness is even greater then I believe that in such cases you should not give up.

  • Think positively every step of the way, even when those around you are negative. In certain cases, you might just have to drop some old friends and pick up some new ones. Positive thinking releases stress
  • Pray earnestly. I believe that you need to place your trust somewhere and I can see no better place than in God.
  • Keep on researching. Sitting down and doing nothing does not help. It is always good to keep to up to date with relevant information. Ill be sure to add to my blog page from time to time
  • Do not get weary in the things you do to benefit your body such as exercises, healthy eating, drinking lots of water. I know that is not easy and that from time to time you may stray, but get back and try again.
  • Do not settle for one doctor's opinion. I believe this is very important because of what I have gone through. As I stated in an earlier blog, here I was going from doctor to doctor and most of them telling me about trying to get pregnant even when I asked them if the fibroid would not just get bigger and here is two other doctors who was shocked at that statement. One even asked, which doctor could have asked me to try get pregnant with a fibroid that size.
  • The final decision is always yours, but I would advise you to explore all your options before considering surgery.
  • Involve your spouse, if there is one, in your every decision. This is not a one person thing and cannot not be dealt with like that if there is someone in your life. Get him/her involved.
Have a blessed day and as I popularly read in a lot of blogs, baby dust to all of you.

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